Men’s Therapy
Become the man you want to be.
Online in Minneapolis and 40 states
You don’t need to keep all your problems to yourself.
Whether you’re navigating problems in your current relationship, a divorce/break up, parenting stress, difficulties at work, or a major life transition, life can be hard, and the fact that you’re struggling right now is completely normal and natural.
If you’re like many men today, you don’t have a lot of people who you feel comfortable sharing your struggles with, so you tend to try to solve all your problems on your own.
But always going it alone, especially when it comes to some of life’s bigger challenges, has its downsides because it can prevent you from seeing your problems from a new perspective and developing better strategies for addressing them.
Trying to do everything on your own can also lead you down some pretty dark paths.
You might find that you’re extremely hard on yourself as your frustration builds from failing over, and over again. Otherwise, you might find yourself taking your frustration out on others and later feeling shame and regret because of it. You may also start to feel depressed, anxious, stressed, lonely, or otherwise “off,” and you might even cope with these difficult feelings in unhealthy ways such as overusing substances, overeating, isolating from others, spending too much time online, or distracting yourself through excessive work or exercise.
You don’t have to keep living this way.
Is men’s therapy right for you?
Do you:
Struggle to communicate your thoughts and feelings in a way that feels effective and authentic?
Find it hard to let your guard down?
Struggle to respond effectively and productively when others express thier thoughts and feelings to you?
Feel like others walk all over you?
Find it hard to ask for help, even when you know you probably need it?
Often feel isolated/lonely?
Find that you’re often very hard on yourself?
Struggle with anger?
Cope with your problems in unhealthy ways?
If you’re experiencing any of the above, you’re in the right place.
WHAT WE’LL FOCUS ON:
I want to help you see your problems in a new light and learn the tools you need to overcome them.
We’ll begin our work by having a conversation about where you’re stuck, how you got there, and where you’d like to be instead. Although we’ll discuss your past so that we can understand exactly how and why you got to where you are today, our work will be centered on making changes in the present so that you can grow and accelerate toward your goals for the future.
A primary reason many men struggle to meet their goals on their own is that they lack important life skills. In our work together, we’ll focus on developing key skill sets that will help you overcome your challenges and build the life and relationships you want. Every man has strengths as well as opportunities for growth, and some may need more work with certain skills than others; however, some of the main areas we’ll focus on include:
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Your values are your compass—without them you’re like a ship without a rudder, aimlessly drifting about the stormy seas of life. Whether you’re already pretty clear on your values or you need to do a little work to figure them out, specifying what’s most important to you and engaging in the behaviors that bring you closer to what you want (especially when doing so is difficult or uncomfortable) will be central to our work.
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Are you an unhappy “nice guy?” If you often feel like others walk all over you or you’re giving too much and receiving little in return, you might need to work on your assertiveness skills. Building healthy relationships requires you to express your needs clearly, directly and respectfully. Assertiveness skills will help you build self-confidence and effectively interact with others, instead of being overly aggressive or passive.
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Many guys feel like a deer in the headlights when their partner asks them to “open up”. This is because it’s not exactly something our culture encourages us to do— vulnerability can be scary as hell and a lot of us don’t have much practice with it. When we focus on vulnerability skills in therapy, we’ll work on recognizing, naming, and effectively expressing your thoughts and emotions in a way that is authentic and true to you. We’ll also focus on helping you better understand others’ emotions, and what you can do to effectively and productively respond to them. Even though vulnerability can feel pretty foreign at first, it gets easier with practice, and it’s absolutely essential to building a healthy life and relationships.
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Making big changes to your life is hard and you’re not going to get anywhere by beating yourself up every time you try something new and it doesn’t go perfectly. You’ll also need to take breaks and fill your gas tank by engaging in activities that restore and rejuvenate you; otherwise, you’ll burn out before you’re able to make sustainable progress. For these reasons, we’ll take a straightforward, no-BS approach to helping you treat yourself like more like a friend that you love and respect than an enemy you hate.
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Emotions, even the uncomfortable ones, provide us with extremely important information about our surroundings and experience. If we didn’t have them, we’d be flying blind, completely numb and incapable of responding effectively to what’s going on around us. But without the necessary skills, difficult emotions can lead to overwhelm and motivate us to engage in unhelpful and unhealthy behaviors. The goal of building emotion regulation skills is to improve your ability to name, understand and cope with your emotions while decreasing the amount of suffering you experience when they show up.
Men’s therapy can help you:
Gain a new perspective on your problems.
Clarify and accelerate toward your goals.
Take responsibility for the important changes you need to make in life.
Develop key skills that will help you gain confidence and overcome your challenges.
Feel more balanced, secure, and satisifed in your relationships with others.
Start treating yourself more like a friend (rather than your own worst enemy).
Establish a greater sense of peace, meaning, and fulfillment in life.
Frequently asked questions about men’s therapy
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This depends on your needs and goals. The process of therapy is unique for everyone, and I tailor my approach based on where you are and where you want to be. We will regularly check in throughout the process to discuss your progress and timeline.
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Making the decision to start any type of therapy is deeply personal and it’s important not to push someone who’s not ready. If someone is open to trying therapy, it can be helpful to practice empathy and remind them that seeking help is a normal part of life and that therapy can provide a safe, confidential, and supportive space for someone to work on their difficulties. If you’ve had positive personal experiences with therapy, it can be helpful to share these. Finally, it can be helpful to talk with the person about what they might be looking for in terms of the therapist’s specialization, experience, and personal characteristics to help them find a good fit.
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Yes, absolutely. Although a significant portion of my practice is dedicated to serving the unique needs of men; I warmly welcome anyone who feels they might benefit from my approach. I’ve had the good fortune of working closely with many truly inspiring female clients throughout my career.